Princess Peach's Creepy Beachhouse
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: My parody of Luigi's Mansion! Princess Peach manages wins a beachhouse, but when Mario doesn't return from going there, Peach believes it's haunted, and it's up to her to rescue Mario.
1. Peach wins the Beachhouse!

**Princess Peach's Creepy Beachhouse**

**By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus**

Old Introduction Author Note from Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Yes, I'm doing a small horror/parody tribute to one of my favorite games of all time, the Gamecube classic "Luigi's Mansion", except replace Luigi with Peach, Professor E. Gadd with Captain Falcon, replace cute little Toad with Pichu, and...the others make a cameo, but instead of Mario being rescued, it's Marth who gets rescued. And the chief villain is actually based on Dracula (Mewtwo) instead of King Boo, as it also derives from the Spooky proportion of Conker's Bad Fur Day (which, by the way, is the only M-rated connection to this story). Other than that, enjoy this wonderful (and horrifying) parody of one of gaming's now beloved games, Princess Peach's Creepy Beachhouse! (Don't let the name fool you - it's actually a conspiracy to back up the true horrifying natures of this fanfic, which is why it'll be rated K+ for now, but might later be bumped to T)

New Introduction Author Note from Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Yeah, I decided to revive this old fanfic in the form of a Mario fanfic, with my hatred for Super Smash Brothers going into overdrive. Anyway, I have reworked this story a bit to make it much better, and the only Nintendo characters that will appear in this story that are NOT from mario are Captain Falcon (as he was decided to permanently stay in, despite the switch to the Mario section from the Super Smash Brothers section) and Mewtwo, an old fan favorite Pokemon from the first generation (given that I decide to use him for the Dracula bit based off Conker's Bad Fur Day, which I am currently debating with myself on). Toad will still appear in the role that he was in from Luigi's Mansion, and with mario himself taking back the spot of being kidnapped from Marth (who, ironically, replaced Mario in that role, hence the irony). But yes, although he will have awesomeness all over him, Captain Douglas Jay Falcon will still retain the role of Professor Elvin Gadd, and it's very, very obvious who's spot Princess Peach is taking as the lead heroine. Anyway, that's all I have to blabber about. Read, enjoy, and have fun with the newly awakened, re-mastered fanfic, ladies and gentlemen! Good night!

* * *

It was a peaceful night in the Mushroom Kingdom, within the capital of Toad Town at the beautiful flagship castle owned by Princess Peach Toadstool. Everyone was sleeping peacefully in their beds. Not a noise in the house, not even a mouse. But oddly enough, there was someone awake, and that person happened to be the plucky blonde Princess Peach Toadstool, reading a letter on the big red couch in the Living Room.

"This looks interesting," Peach said to herself, looking both ways to see if anyone as there, and then looking at the letter, "Dear Princess Peach Toadstool, congratulations! You have won a brand new beachhouse, but in order to claim it, you have to go there first, because, well...it's a secret. Just go there, because there's delicious vanilla cake with sweet, sugary frosting. Yummy, yummy, yummy for your tummy, tummy, tummy! Sighed, the Ridiculous Prize Committee."

Peach gasped. A beachhouse, for her? This was the most exciting thing since she got her own castle, but a BEACHHOUSE...now that was something Peach can look up to. But, she didn't want to go there right away, so instead, she decided to send Mario, her true love and loving boyfriend, there.

"And I just know how to get him to do it..." Peach said to herself, giggling evilly as she took out a feather and headed up to Mario's special room, knocking on his door. "Oh Mario, honey..."

Mario woke up, getting out of his bed. "I'm-a coming, I'm coming," The red capped Italian plumber muttered crankily, with a yawn as he opened the door. "Oh, what do you want, Peach?"

Peach crossed her arms together. "Well...there's this awesome beachhouse I won, and...I want you to go there and check it out for me!" She said, smiling.

Mario stared at Peach. "Yeah, right," He said gruffly, heading back to bed and slamming the door on Peach.

Peach stood there for a few seconds, and she then started banging on the door. "MARTY-O!! PLEASE, I BEG YOU!!"

"No! Absolutely not" Mario shouted back in protest as he placed the bed sheets over him, adding angrily, "AND MY NAME ISN'T MARTY-O!! It's MARIO!!"

Peach stopped banging, and she fell on her knees, beginning to sob. "I'll...sniffle...I'll cry!" She then covered her face with her hands and started crying obnoxiously loud, enough to wake up a sleeping elephant fifteen miles away.

Mario smirked as he closed his eyes. "Nice try, Princess Peach, but I'm the reat Super Mario, and I am not falling for that!" He shouted, as he started to snore loudly.

Peach then started to cry louder, waterfalls coming out of her eyes instead of tears. the whole castle due to this testimony began to shake, causing all of the resident mushroom retainers to scream as they were shaken out of their beds and onto the floors..

Mario placed the pillow on his head, growling as Peach's crying became louder and louder by the minute. After a few minutes, he screamed, and got out of bed. "FINE!" He opened the door, grabbed Peach, pulled her up, and slapped her across the face. He growled, his face very cranky. "I'll go check your stupid beachhouse, but you leave me alone for good, all right?" The red-capped Italian plumber snapped, his face red from anger.

Peach nodded, rubbing her sore cheek. "Yeah..." She smiled a bit, watching Mario change out of his pajamas into his regular red-and-blue overalls and heading downstairs, opening the main entrance doors and slamming them both as he started walking down the dirt-pavedpath.

Peach went downstairs, and she looked at the door, smiling. "Well, at least he's checking it out for me." She said to herself. The door then started knocking, and Peach opened it, Marth standing in front of her.

"Do you know where the beachhouse is?" Mario asked, gritting his teeth stupidly like a donkey as he adjusted his red cap.

Peach shook her head. "Nope!" She slammed the door in Mario's face, and started walking to the couch, when she noticed a map on the letter. "Ohhh..." She remembered, picking up the letter and opening the door. "Hey Mario, sweety, here's the ma-" She looked down, noticing the unconscious Mario. She sweatdropped and giggled. "Oopsie..."

Mario got back up, growling as he rubbed his head injury. "Oh for crying out-a loud... give me the friggin' map," He hissed, snatching it from Peach and looking at it. "All right, so it's this way..." He started walking down the path in the western direction.

Peach waved to Mario as she watched his walk into the horizon. "Bye, Mario! Be sure to come back in the morning!" She shouted, going back inside and closing the door.


	2. Peach heads to the Beachhouse!

Old Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Wow, how long has it been since I actually did something around this story? Anyway, here's another chapter of Princess Peach's Creepy Beachhouse. Enjoy!

New Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Huff, puff... it's taken a bit of time, but I'm actually improving the factors that should have been implemented in this fanfiction a long time ago. Oh, and speaking of which, this is not only the only reference to Nintendo City from my Super Smash Brothers fanfics (because I'm too flipping lazy to change the description after all what I recently did), but it's also the only appearance from one of my top favorite Pokemon, Charizard. Ladies and gentlemen, read and enjoy the chapter!

* * *

The next day, Princess Peach Toadstool woke up and stretched out of her bed. Getting up and doing her usual morning business, she headed downstairs to the kitchen. She asked about Mario, and all of the mushroom retainers shrugged.

Peach frowned. "Strange... Mario said he would check out my beachhouse, but yet he didn't send me a letter or anything."

"Maybe you should go there tonight and see for yourself," Charizard, appearing out of nowhere for this very special cameo appearance in a Mario fanfic, stated specifically to Princess Peach as he bit into a toasty piece of toast, smothered with both fruity jelly and peanut butter.

Peach nodded in agreement, rubbing her chin. "Yeah. Good idea." She replied, and she headed upstairs to the bathroom to take a shower.

Later that surprisingly quiet night, Peach got onto a motorcycle she "borrowed" from Wario and headed up towards the northern direction, leaving behind her beloved castle and the Mushroom Kingdom as she zoomed into a strange, green warp pipe that led into Nintendo City, warping her in three seconds flat. Turning to the right and then turning right again on the narrow streets of Nintendo City's District, Peach headed in the northwestern direction towards the Dewy National Bridge, where she slid down the sandy path towards the shore. She then turned to the left and zoomed down the sandy beachfront, glancing to her left to see the tall, neon-lit buildings of Nintendo City disappearing as they were replaced with large, craggy rocks of different colors. Peach then noticed that the sandy path turned into its own bridge, and Peach noticed that there were ramps on each side of the sandy path, the path itself going upward as water was below the sandy bridge. Peach then jumped over the small ramp, and she landed on a lone platform, which connected to a lone island jetting out of the water. Peach hopped off of Wario's motorcycle and examined the beachhouse, turning around to, much to her shock, see that the sandy bridge dissolved into the water.

Peach gulped, and she started trembling. "M-maybe it wasn't a good idea to come at this hour..." She said worriedly as she turned around and knocked on the front door of the beachhouse.

There was no answer from inside. Princess Peach knocked again after five seconds passed, but the door blew a powerful gust towards her, nearly knocking her off the island, and a cackle of eerie laughs were heard from inside.

Peach gulped, and she slowly took a step forward. "Gee, I hope whatever is inside is friendly..." She said to herself as he pulled out a red flashlight and turned it on, the door closing shut behind her.


	3. The Creepy Foyer gets Gassed

Old Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Just thought I let you know, later on in this chapter, the paintings that come to life _speak like this_. Just to make sure there is no confusion or anything since they are obviously not alive. Enjoy!

New Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: (cough, cough) Well, umm... not much to say here except for simply boosting the word count, folks. Anyway, there's not much changes here, but the obvious switchings of Marth (the infamous and much hated blue haired swordsman from Fire Emblem) and Mario (who rightfully deserves back his original spot from Luigi's Mansion). Anyway, that's all I have to state. Read and enjoy, ladies and gentlemen! (looks at the word count for the chapter) Exactly one thousand words!? Hot diggity damn! (places on cowboy hat and celebrates)

* * *

Princess Peach Toadstool's lips trembled as she cautiously walked around the entrance room of the beachhouse. She noticed several stairs to her left and right, pointing at the stairs to the left with her flashlight.

Peach thought for a moment, and she snapped her fingers. "I have a hunch that the foyer is upstairs. So I'll head up the stairs," And head up the stairs did she, holding the red flashlight firmly in her right hand as he reached the top and opened the door, entering the foyer.

The pink, blonde princess of the Mushroom Kingdom looked around and started to tremble in fright as the doors closed by themselves. Peach gulped, and she snuck quietly around the room, whispering Mario's name. When she realized that this did not work, she sighed and took a seat on the green couch. She glanced to her right to see several candles lit with purple flames.

Peach sighed, putting her red flashlight down on the wooden table. "Well, it sure is boring for a place that's suppose to be spooky," She admitted as she stretched her arms, "How on earth is Luigi afraid of places like this is a mystery to me..." She muttered to herself as she was very cautious. The blonde princess then noticed the grandfather clock in the northwestern corner of the foyer ticking slowly, and she suddenly stopped trembling. "Sure is quiet and peaceful in this room..."

Silence. It may have been dark, but the lit candles seemed to help brighten the mood.

Peach sighed, but she then heard her stomach gurgle. "Oooh..." She moaned, putting her right hand on her stomach. "Man, I have to use the bathroom. I should have never ate on the way here..." Her stomach gurgling louder, Peach clutched her stomach with both of her hands, standing up as she moved from the green couch towards the candles. "Is...is it gas...?" She asked herself.

A few moments later, Princess Peach noticed that it was indeed gas.

Peach sighed of relief. "Thank goodness. I thought I had to po... _**oooh!**_" She suddenly felt the gas pressure on her. "Maybe if I just fart here, I'll be fine." She smiled. "I mean, it's not like there's anyone here, or anything..." She sighed, gulping as she continued to clench her stomach with both of her hands. "Well, here it goes..." Her stomach gurgling louder for the last time, Peach closed her eyes, and ripped a big one...

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT!! Poot. Princess Peach sighed of relief after she passed the pressured gas within her stomach, placing her hands by her side. Unfortunately, Peach's loud and gusty fart caused the purple flames on the candles to go out, and the room was completely dark, except for the red flashlight, which suddenly went out.

Peach blushed a bit, rubbing the back of her head. "Ooops...I guess I went to town there," She giggled, but then screaming in horror as the paintings all shook a few seconds later.

_"How dare you fart in our beachhouse, little girl..."_ Said the eerie voice of an old painting of an old gentleman, _"You have brought the stench worse than death into our lovely home, and for that, you shall pay..."_

Peach trembled in her spot, holding her hands together as another painting of an elderly woman spoke out, _"Yes! Farting is not permitted in our spooky beachhouse. How dare you break the rule..."_

It was then another painting of a man stated, _"You, little girl, get to pay the price or doing what is wrong. Passing gas is only permitted in a bathroom, not in a foyer!"_

Peach peeped as she slowly moved back towards the couch, sitting down and holding her knees as another painting of a woman added, _"Yes... now you will suffer the fate of all the ghosts that rest in this mansion... and you'll wind up just like that red-capped Italian plumber with the stylish moustache before..."_

_"Are you afraid of the dark, little girl?"_ The first painting of the old gentleman asked in an eerie tone, laughing, _"The ghosts have awakened, and they're coming for you..."_

Peach gasped, and she grabbed a nearby blue blanket with yellow, rubber ducks and pretty rainbows painted on them, trembling and whining in fear as the paintings all started to laugh.

_"May you wander in darkness...**f**__**orever!! Ohohohohohohohohohoho!**__"_ All of the paintings said in a creepier tone than before, and they stopped shaking.

Peach poked her head out of the covers, looking around to see the paintings stop moving. She let out a sigh of relief. "Phew! That was a close one-"

PWISH!! Several orange ghosts then surrounded Princess Peach and all made weird gestures. Peach screamed as she hid under her covers, but was sent up into the ceiling in fright as the ghosts appeared under the covers as well. Peach panted rapidly as she held tightly to the ceiling, looking down in fright as the orange ghosts taunted her. Peach then sobbed, and she cried, "Mario, anyone, wherever you are..." She closed her eyes and screamed as loud as she could from the top of her lungs, _**"HEEEEEEEEEEELP!!"**_


	4. Captain Falcon to the Rescue! Or Not

Princess Peach screamed for help as the orange ghosts surrounded her from all sides of the green couch she was sitting on. The orange ghosts continued to spook her as the human princess was helpless. That is, until she heard a familiar shout...

"Falcon... **PUNCH!!!!**"

Peach gasped and looked out of her covers to see a fiery punch bursting through the foyer doors, engulfing the orange ghosts, forcing them to disappear as they were set aflame by the punch. It was then that Captain Falcon ran through the bursted doors, looking around to see if any ghouls remained, and then spotted Peach. He approached her.

Peach let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, Douglas, it's only you." She then shook her head and asked, getting out from the covers completely, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Captain Falcon placed his palm on his forehead. "Well, I was notified that you won a beachhouse, and it sorta seemed kinda creepy, so I decided to take some action by coming here earlier than you. I also managed to spot Marth, but he was taken by the ghosts here." He took a look around the foyer, and shook his head with disappoint. "Look at this place... you really gotta admit, the renovators need to do a much better job on decorating the rooms."

Peach rolled her eyes, standing up and approaching Captain Falcon. "Well, there's no use talking here. How about somewhere much more pleasant?" She suggested in a sweet tone.

Captain Falcon folded his arms. "What do you mean by that?" He asked, raising his right eyebrow.

Peach touched her fingertips, a bit flustered. "Well... it's creepy in here, and even though I feel safe with you, Captain Falcon..." She shuddered. "I have a very bad feeling that more ghosts would show up..."

As Captain Falcon was about to remark, several more orange ghosts appeared, holding bombs in their transparent hands. Screaming, Captain Falcon and Peach dashed out of the foster room, and they tumbled off the balcony as they landed face first in the entrance room. Getting up, and turning around to see the orange ghosts going through the walls, Captain Falcon pointed to the right side, and he used Falcon Kick, creating a hole within the wall. As Peach tossed turnips at the orange ghosts (which proved to be very useless as the turnips went right through them), Captain Falcon grabbed Peach and ran as fast as he could down within the hole in the right wall. The orange ghosts cackled, and they rolled their bombs down, the bombs starting to fuse as they slowly rolled... and then, when Captain Falcon and Peach reached a dead-end...

"I'll handle this, Peach," Captain Falcon stated heroically as he stood in front of the pink-clad princess, preparing his famous punch, "Prepare for the all-mighty Falcon... **PU-**"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bombs all exploded at the same time, and the explosion was so powerful, it sent Peach and Captain Falcon soaring out of the horrifying beachhouse, until they then stopped soaring and came crashing down through the center of the beachhouse, going through the entire old and creepy structure, and finally collapsing down within the basement, which was part of the land mass that the beachhouse was located on. Peach and Captain Falcon both moaned in pain as they tried to get back their senses, while haunting voices in the darkness cackled with glee in the mysterious shadows...


	5. Bonding in the Basement

Old PS: Captain Falcon's full name, according to most sources on F-ZERO, is Captain Douglas Jay Falcon. For an awesome racer/bounty hunter, Douglas is a classy and fitting name. (smiles) And yes, despite being a human being, Princess Peach's last name is indeed Toadstool, get over it (meant for people who didn't know before).

New PS: Wow. I'm really outdoing myself with this. Unbelievable.

* * *

Princess Peach Toadstool and Captain Douglas Jay Falcon were in the basement of the creepy beachhouse, trying to get themselves up after the explosion a few minutes earlier. Now that they were both alone, the two human characters decided what to do in order to explore the beachhouse and rescue Mario.

"So, Douglas?" Peach said as she took out a pink cup of tea out of nowhere and sipped from it, "What are we to do now?"

Captain Falcon rubbed his chin as he thought deeply. "Hmmm... well, it seems, Peach, that poor Mario has been taken hostage by the disturbed ghosts, and they are willing to keep him trapped unless we do something..." He then pointed at Peach. "Or should I say, _you_ should do something..."

Peach gasped, and she dropped her cup of tea, hearing the glass break into tiny pieces. "Captain Falcon! I thought you were a big man!" She walked towards Captain Falcon and slapped him across the face. "Some bounty hunter and grand prix champion you are! You can't even help me get through the mansion!"

Feeling quite bad, Captain Falcon lowered his head in shame and looked down at his shoes. "I'm sorry, Princess Peach... it's just that this is more of Luigi's kind of place to hang out..." He then got an idea. "I know! How about you use your pink parasol?"

Peach had a bewildered look on her face. "_**WHAT!?**_ Are you kidding me!?" She tugged her hands together, not wanting to use her beautiful pink parasol as an item and to have it get dirty.

Captain Falcon sighed, and he placed his right hand on peach's left shoulder. "Look, Peach... either we - or, should I say, you - have to act up and fight our way through the beachhouse, or Mario will never come back to the Mushroom Kingdom to save the day from Bowser and his evil forces of Koopa Troopas. Which is it?" He asked with a serious tone in his deep, surprisingly smooth voice.

Peach suddenly felt the urge to cry as tears formed within her bright blue-colored eyes. "Well... well..." She sniffled, and wiped the tears off her with her right elbow. "I just don't know, Captain Falcon..."

Captain Falcon grinned. "Don't worry, Peach. Heck, if it means that much, I will accompany you."

Peach gasped, and tears formed in her eyes again, though they were not of sorrow, but of joy. "Oh... Douglas... thank you..." Crying in joy, she hugged Captain Falcon tightly.

Captain Falcon grinned, and he only patted Peach on the back to help her cry with less pressure on her. After a few minutes, Captain Falcon faced Peach, who managed to get the tears out. "All right, now that we have gotten that taken care of, let's find a way out of this basement and go rescue Mario!"

Peach nodded in agreement, punching her right fist into the air triumphally. "Yeah! Let's beat up some ghosts, take some names, and rescue Mario! We'll be known as Super Princess peach and Super Captain Falcon, the super duo!" The blonde princess stated with confidence as she and Captain Falcon both noticed a staircase nearby and ran upwards on it, going through the door that lead to the layer under the main floor.


	6. Escaping the Basement

Princess Peach Toadstool and Captain Douglas Jay Falcon, also known as the super duo, were rushing down the hallway of the dark basement, trying to avoid the ghosts as much as possible. While Peach acted like the scared girl that she is, Captain Falcon showed his bravery and honor by standing up for the princess, letting himself take damage and deal it back as he lead the way. Heading up to the left, right, up, down, through the north, south, east, and west, Peach and Captain Falcon tried as much as they could to escape the basement.

"I found a way!" Peach clamored as she opened a door. SPLAT!! A Boo was heard cackling as Peach fell to the ground, so thick it was as if she was paper, which considering that she was slammed by the door, she was. Popping back to normal, Peach moaned as she felt dizzy, swirlies in her eyes.

Luckily, Captain Falcon spotted her, and grabbed her, making for the exit. As he turned to the left, Captain Falcon used his Falcon Kick to burst through a wooden barrier, destroying it as he ran downhill, heading towards a locked door. Using his Falcon PAUNCH to destroy it, Captain falcon walked in, noticing that he and Peach were inside an abandoned laboratory of sorts. It was then that Captain Falcon has remembered - he told Princess Peach about a secret laboratory somewhere near the beach house. Could this be that specific lab...?

Peach shook her head, dusting off her pink dress as she stretched her arms into the air. Yawning, she opened her eyes and looked around her, going into the room further.

"So... did we finally make it, Douglas?" Peach asked sweetly, rubbing her hands together. "Did we manage to escape the basement and end up back in the secret laboratory you told me about?"

Captain Falcon observed the abandoned laboratory, and he turned to Peach, grinning. "Peach, my girl, we have... made contact!" He stated as he pumped his right fist into the air, shouting patriotically, "**_YES!!_**"


	7. I Can't Believe I Wrote This Crap

"So what exactly is this?" Princess Peach asked as she held the red-colored vacuum.

Captain Falcon laughed heartily as he slapped Peach on the butt, shouting to her, "Peach, mah gal, this here is the Portification 9000! It'll suck up anything in a jiff!"

Peach blankly stared at Captain Falcon as a tumbleweed went by.

"The... ehh... a... jiff... wha...?"

Captain Falcon rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Hey, I didn't say it made sense."

Peach sighed as she placed the vacuum machine on her back. "I have a strange feeling that this will not work..." She murmured as she still felt awkward about using the vacuum as a backpack.

Captain Falcon scoffed as he patted Peach on the head, ensuring her, "Don't worry, my sweet. Captain Falcon ensures that thing can suck up anything?"

"Anything?" Peach cooed back as she covered her mouth.

Princess Peach farted. However, the vacuum turned itself on and sucked up the fart, much to Peach's astonishment.

"See? What did I tell you?" Captain Falcon replied as he chuckled, making a heroical pose. "No one gets hunches right like Captain Falcon!"

Peach rolled her eyes as she exited the secret lab. "Whatever. Don't do anything stupid here while I'm busy kicking ass." And thus, the blonde princess headed back to the beachhouse, to kick ass and take some names...

...What? You thought I was actually going to write the entire thing? Ha! You're even lucky to see this chapter at all, buddy!

"Well... I got... all the ghosts..." Peach gasped as she felt like collapsing on herself.

Captain Falcon held Peach up, patting the exhausted blonde princess on the back. "There there, princess. You did your job. Now why don't you just relax and rest up..."

Peach dropped her jaw in disbelief as she stared at Captain Falcon. "Rest up? I gotta save Mario!"

"...But... Mario is not here." Captain Falcon stated as he rubbed the back of his head, sweatdropping.

Peach started shaking as she refused to belief Captain Falcon. "Sure he is! The whole point of me being here was to save Mario!" She pouted as she folded her arms, turning around to face you, the viewers. "What's going on here! I demand the narrator this instant!"

Silence.

"...Well, that's one way to gain an audience," Waluigi suddenly interrupted as he laughed, knocking Captain Falcon down with ease.

"WALUIGI!" Princess Peach exclaimed as she farted again, leaving this chapter with a stupid, pointless cliffhanger.


End file.
